

“Once you’re in those environments” - a certain college or neighborhood, say - “that’s where you find your partner.” “Genetic similarities are either causing people to be in similar environments, or are just correlated with other things that are causing people to be in similar environments,” Domingue says. Both of these tendencies could feasibly translate to physical similarities within a couple.īen Domingue, an assistant professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Education who has studied genetic similarity between spouses and friends, says genetically matched folks tend to find each other because of social, cultural or environmental common ground. There is also some preliminary evidence that people may be attracted to potential mates who come from similar ancestry - at least for white couples, since they’ve been the focus of most early research. Plenty of studies have found that spouses tend to be more genetically similar than strangers, sharing predictors of everything from height to educational attainment. Lookalike partners may also be drawn to each other, subliminally, because of their genes. And then it also makes you worry: are you a narcissist if you’re attracted to people who look like you?” (Probably not, Lehmiller says, since the whole thing is subconscious.) “It would freak me out, especially when someone would ask, ‘Are you twins?'” Barrie remembers. (Barrie is now married to a woman who she says looks nothing like her.) She says she wasn’t aware of the pattern at first and didn’t usually notice the resemblance until someone else pointed it out. Zara Barrie, a 31-year-old writer who lives in New York City, says she dated at least three women who looked like her. “These traits might come to be seen as comforting,” he says. It’s likely a completely subconscious process that taps into our natural associations with what’s pleasant and appealing, he says. That parental preference may seem a little creepy, but it’s not problematic or even particularly surprising, Lehmiller says. Another 2018 study looking at biracial people found that they tended to be attracted to and pair up with people who resemble their parents, regardless of sex. Study participants rated images of others as more attractive when a picture of their opposite-sex parent quickly flashed across the screen first, suggesting that they were subconsciously primed by the familiar face. Both male and female participants consistently rated the composite that included their own face as the most attractive.Īn earlier study reached a similar finding about composite images - and also found that people were subliminally attracted to features of their opposite-sex parent. In the experiment, people were shown images of their romantic partner’s face that had been digitally altered to include some features from another face - either random other faces, or the study participant’s own face. “You’re familiar with your own appearance, so seeing other people who share those similar sorts of traits might lead to more liking for that reason,” he says. There are some traits that work best in a relationship when they’re balanced out by an opposing partner - like dominance and submissiveness - but, by and large, “what is familiar to us tends to be what we like and are drawn to,” even if we’re not explicitly aware of it, Lehmiller says. If you don't get the confirmation within 10 minutes, please check your spam folder.ĭespite the old notion that opposites attract, Indianapolis-based social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, who is a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want, says people naturally gravitate toward people who are familiar, even though the whole process is likely subconscious. Click the link to confirm your subscription and begin receiving our newsletters. For your security, we've sent a confirmation email to the address you entered.
